Saturday, October 16, 2010


i just woke up.. than I got my heart hurting so much even fo crying like a baby I can't everything just so flat now..

ya I just realized that I can touch someone life anymore..
I'm not the part of it anymore
his new life just to happy now, with his new carrier be a softball player then a hundred girl adore him so much.. then he truth that he's smiling, laughing, and share the love with the girl outside there ,I cant came into his new life.
I adore the old him.. I love the old him.. I miss the old him..the old
but its difficult to figure out the old him,, I just found someone that I just knew a little just a little about him.. I dunno anymore or everything until now I'm dying on my bad hugging my doll then found my self crying crying crying because I can't recognize who is he anymore..?

I am just broken now.. hope someday I'll find u and see ur smile like before..
then the zero disappear change to hundred.. amin.


Another photo taken by my friends..
the concept is white
but dunno why the concept changed into horror.. hahhaha


gosh who am I? i'm not ur girlfriend anymore I cant demand u with every question on my head????

who's that girl? why u look so ohh.. bla bla (skipped)
and a hundred question like those
Im curious , scared, disappointed, stress,
I just wanna scream "hey bitch (sorrybadword) he's mine.. mine.. mine go away" but the truth I can't I'm just nothing now..

stupid me, I love him okay but I can't do anything
I've tried to say that i love him but the answer sounds like "c'mon girl we broke up 1 month ago so enough to say love or bla bla bla" I swear I wont ever told u that I love u I'll keep it.. or please when I say it can u respond love u too or whatever that show that u still love me..

I'm the stupid people on the world now, love someone but even to say I love him I feel scare.
damn it and now I jealous just because my stupid intuition on those fucking twitter.

sorry I cant handle anymore I need to shouting out, maybe I just to scared to take my reality that we weren't together even we still love each other and I'm not ready someone that I really love leave me I can't imagine...sorry I'm just out of control with my feeling I miss u so bad here..

okay the end I hate u TWITTER

hitam putih = MEMORIS

if I can turn back the time
I just want erased all the sadness on ur face
and draw a smile on ur face
so everyday u can feel happy :)

thanks for every memories
i wont erased it

i just lost

When you're lost in those woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realize that you are lost. For the longest time, you can convince yourself that you've just wandered a few feet off the path, that you'll find your way back to the trailhead any moment now. Then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where you are, and it's time to admit that you have belwildered yourself so far off the path that you don't even know from which direction the sun rises anymore???

my angel

adek cepat sembuh...
jangan sakit sakit ingat kita punya banyak janji dan rencana i'll do my best fo u dek
i promise (finger cross)

I DO MISS U here dek...
see u soon nyengku

Monday, October 11, 2010


Sometimes, even now,
I look at pictures of you.

See what you’re doing,
smile when you’re mentioned;

I laugh at your jokes, in my head,
even when I remember tears, too.

All of this is bad, I know.

To recall,
just when love became memory.

never stop

i kept reading all message that u send to me
i kept remembering the memories that we both had together.
and this tears cant stop running down.

i kept hugging the doll of yours that you gave to me.
i kept......
and this feeling cant stop.....

follow ur heart

‘Dan kelak, di saat begitu banyak jalan

terbentang di hadapanmu

dan kau tak tahu jalan mana yang harus

kau ambil, janganlah memilihnya dengan

asal saja, tetapi duduklah dan

tunggulah sesaat. Tariklah napas

dalam-dalam, dengan penuh kepercayaan.

Seperti saat kau bernapas di hari pertamamu di dunia ini.

Jangan biarkan apa pun mengalihkan

perhatianmu, tunggulah dan tunggulah

lebih lama lagi. Berdiam dirilah, tetap hening,

dan dengarkanlah hatimu.

Lalu ketika hati itu bicara, beranjaklah,

dan pergilah kemana hati membawamu’

by: susana tammaro

the truth ur gone

You get me. You’re the only one who ever understood exactly what I meant, and didn’t get mad when I overreacted or said something stupid, because you knew that I didn't know better. You wouldn’t look at my smile, you’d look at my eyes, and you would just know when I needed a hug. You would let me talk and you’d just listen, because you knew that no one else would. You picked me up when you knew that I was hurting, and you would call my bluff when I wouldn’t look you in the eyes. You knew me better than anyone else, and now that you’re gone no one’s around to save me.... you're gone..

shout out

For long time I keep it alone I think I should say it,but I'm to scared to show out my feeling about you. You’re the only person that ever made me feel anything, really feel. Even if it wasn’t always the best of feelings, you’re the only one who could make me smile or tear me down in three seconds flat. You’re the only person that can drive me crazy, in both good and bad ways. You’re the only person that ever made me feel like I didn’t have to try so hard. I'm not okay without you. I keep thinking of how much I talking to you. How good you look when you smile. How much I love your laugh. I daydream about you replaying our conversation, laughing at funny things that your said or did. I've memorized your face and the way that you look at me, I catch myself smiling again at what I imagine.

I just wish you knew I still loved you, and I wish you would do something with that knowledge. I wish you would grab me and hold me tight in your arms and whisper in my ear how much you loved me more, like you always did.. amen.

Even neither of us don know what the future holds, I know one thing's fo sure U're the best things that has ever happened to me.

dedicated for you A.lolo sinrang ap

sleeping impossible, everything's reminds me of you

When someone is in your heart, they’re never truly gone. They can come back to you, even at unlikely times.

3 a.m and I'm still awake.. I just feel to tired with my condition just got dismenorhea again and again.. very painful all day just lay on the bed suddenly I really miss my mom, she always be my guardian the only one person that can make me feel better but she weren't here. I do miss u mom.

okay every night it just become a nightmare fo me, I'm still day dream about you then I'm crying in my room. I want to dial your number so bad and desperately tell you how much you mean to me. Only you make me feel loved and wanted in this cold hearted world but when I'm starting to showed my feeling typing a short word then send it to you a short word just (I MISS U) your answered just (hehe). I know it will happen. the only one can I do just crying over the night. realize that no more sweet word fo me no more love story fo me. its make me thinking did you try to say that u aren't mean to me or u try to say just go away from my life cause everything its really over, but how hard u tried to ignore me I never let u go I'll always same then my love never change. oh God how miserable me now see LOVES TOO FRAGILE.

thanks fo your little caring its like a million hope fo me, your caring its the best medicine. I hope someday I will listen you whisper on my ears that you love me. thanks fo always be here even I cant call you as my own anymore. thank you. A.lolo sinrang AP.